Chill

Damn it. Just when I’m sitting here feeling all smug about the little baby insights I’m getting into my own behavior – insights that probably have no sticking power to change my behavior – I read this blog post about surrendering by a woman I admire the shit out of.

There’s a lot of things I’m trying to figure out right now. I’m 55. I’ve done things the same way and gotten the same results so many times and I need to do something different. And so (also something I’ve done a zillion times), I’ve been hunkering down, meditating my ass off, brow all furrowed, grunting and groaning, determined to reshape myself.

My friend Mary reminds me to chill. “Surrender”! And let it work itself out. To have faith that if I do the good stuff – the meditating, the self care – the highest good for me will grow. Like a lotus flower out of the mud.